»01 (parenting)

In every family with more than one kid, there's a certain feeling you can always get so you know which one is the oldest, which the youngest. Despite physical looks, you can usually guess right because of how they hold themselves, talk, or act with others. Obviously this isn't always true - but if you think about how the eldest child acts compared to the youngest, you're probably like 'oh yeah! that's a good point!'

If there are only two kids in a family, this tends to be less obvious especially if they're close in age. Factors such as age difference and number of siblings always effect the intensity of the following statements, so bare that in mind.

The oldest kid is almost always acts mean to the younger ones, but does it in a loving fashion. They'll always be there for the others when they need them, and even the most lazy older siblings can have some shred of reliability or responsibility in them. It's for one easy reason - parents always want the older kids to look after the younger ones. So the oldest kid in a family is almost like a third parent - especially if there are a lot of siblings or younger kids around. It's like learning how to be a parent right off the bat. I've noticed this in myself - out of my 9 first cousins and all of my parents friend's kids, I'm the oldest. I'm the one who has to make sure everyone is being good/safe and report to the adults if something happens, etc.

Because of this, younger kids are generally pampered, having no real sense of responsibility because there are always the older ones doing the more important stuff. Most likely they're considered the baby of the family and become pretty spoiled. They do whatever they want, have more free reign. It's true that they often get told "Act like your older siblings!" but the chances of this working lessens as they get older and don't see their siblings as role models anymore. Obviously, the more kids that are older than them, the more these traits show up. My youngest cousins are just the most annoying things i can't even.

In a nutshell: the older kids tend to know how to deal with those younger then them, use their power, and be responsible, for the most part, because they're expected to at a young age. On the other hand, younger kids tend to act spoiled, and want to rebel against everything since they don't feel like they're responsible for anything

Now, what happens when these kids become adults? Most likely, they get married and have kids.

Here's the thing though: Those kids who were the older siblings? They'll do just fine. They've got experience from handling their younger siblings, and they'll realizing with their kids it's pretty much the same deal.

The younger ones though? They'll end up treating their kids like their parents treated them - by spoiling them and acting all nice because they never had the experience of watching over family like that. They'll have almost no control over their kids, plus people who are the youngest siblings also tend to be selfish. There's nothing wrong with them being this way either - when you're young, you get new things and get to keep them, so you don't have to worry about sharing and stuff. If anything, their older siblings have to share and be nice to them. So you know what? When they're adults with kids, they'll still be selfish, putting themselves before their kids in a lot of instances. Generally, from what I've seen, kids who get ignored go to crazy extremes for attention. Particularly ignoring all rules, because that gets you noticed the easiest. It's never nice to be yelled at, but it's better than nothing.

So this is why I think if you're the youngest sibling in your family, especially out of 3 or 4 kids or the youngest in a group (like cousins) that is together a lot, you probably should not have kids. They'll most likely end up being awful because you're really unprepared to be a parent.

Obviously, there are ways to be a better parent like courses or whatever the fuck but still - there's only so much one can do to overcome your own nature. I realized a lot of this hanging out with my aunt, whose the youngest of the kids between my dad, other aunt, and uncle. She's the youngest of the four, and her two kids are the youngest out of all of my cousins. They're really bratty and tend to be spoiled because my aunt is too nice to them and so is my grandma&grandpa who babysit them a lot. They're totally annoying to deal with for pretty much all the reasons I've listed. And from what I can tell, this happens a lot in families. The youngest is pretty much carefree, where the rest of the siblings have all kinds of shit to deal with that they probably don't want to deal with, but do so anyway. It really changes a person when it's so much different.

Also, people who are the only child tend to get a mix of this - they're spoiled for being the only one, but can also get responsibility for doing chores and stuff around the house. I think only children are more likely to differ based on nature, because nurture for these kids is the same most of the time.


So yeah. Moral of the story: if you think you've been rather spoiled & you're the youngest? Do everyone (especially yourself) a favor and skip having kids.